The Festival of Arts in Laguna Beach helped me with a scholarship to Principia College. My Art professor in college was James Green who studied with the California Regionalists in the 40s. I've learned how to market my artwork. I love the freedom of diversity.
Writing in a journal is a saving grace for me. I don't have to share what I write with anyone, but I found that I do have to tell the truth to myself in order to be free. That's what my journal is for, telling the truth. It’s an ongoing reality check that is never "done". I don't always hit the nail on the head the first time but that's ok. If at first I don't succeed, I try again. Once I tell the truth, the answers are there waiting for me. Sometimes it’s tough to tell the truth, but I know now that only the truth will set me free. Freedom is something I'm loving a lot these days. There are a lot of reasons why I've avoided telling the truth in the past. Most of them had to do with how "other people" would think of me if I admitted how I felt, if I admitted the choices I had made. What it really comes down though is how I think about me. Circumstance brings me to times in my life where in order to sleep at night, I have to tell the truth. A therapist helped me to do this. She had sympathy for me when I had lost sympathy for myself. I only went to see her in order to ease my daughter's pain. It comes down to this; There is a reason why we do the things we do. There is a reason for all the poor choices. I had to stop pretending and start admitting it all. What a relief! The therapist told me it was no wonder that I came to feel the way I did, it was no wonder I made the choices I made. Once I came to know myself and admitted my feelings and actions, my fear of "others" dissolved. When your fear of others dissovles, life begins. For there to be any hope of a consistantly joyful life, there must be honesty and authenticity.
This is a painting I created to illustrate the importance of writing. The woman in it is my daughter and it’s in my Mother's house. My writing coach used this painting for the cover of a woman's anthology titled "She Writes". It came out a few weeks ago. I'm getting invitations from varrious Women's groups to show my "She" series at their events because of this painting. I never know what avenues will open up once I set an intention of creating a difference.